People-Pleasing: Why You Do It and How Psychotherapy Can Help You Break Free

If you’ve ever said “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” apologized when you weren’t at fault, or felt like your worth depended on making others happy—you might be caught in the cycle of people-pleasing. At first glance, being accommodating and easygoing seems like a good thing. After all, who doesn’t want to be liked? But when you’re constantly prioritizing others at the expense of your own needs, people-pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, and a deep sense of disconnection from yourself.

As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, I meet in-person and virtually with many young professionals, creatives, and those with ADHD characteristics throughout Washington, DC, Alexandria, VA, and Arlington, VA who struggle with these patterns. They’re hardworking, successful, and deeply caring—but they also feel stuck, drained, and unsure of how to stop seeking validation from others.

Let’s break down why people-pleasing happens, how it’s actually a trauma response, and how therapy—especially intensives using EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy—can help you finally reclaim your voice.