How EMDR Works to Heal Trauma and Better Your Mental Health
If you’re here, chances are you’ve been feeling stuck—exhausted by the same patterns of perfectionism, burnout, or self-doubt that keep showing up no matter how hard you try to push through. Maybe you’ve been wondering why it feels like you’re working twice as hard as everyone else just to feel okay, or why certain memories or triggers seem to have a hold over you even when you try to move on. You’re not alone, and there’s a reason it feels this way.
Trauma, especially relational trauma from growing up in an environment that didn’t meet your needs, doesn’t just live in your mind—it gets stuck in your body and nervous system. And if you’re reading this, chances are you’re ready to stop just managing the symptoms and start addressing the deeper patterns that keep holding you back. That’s where EMDR comes in.
Let’s break it down, avoiding too much clinical jargon, to talk about how this powerful therapy works and why it might be the missing piece in your healing journey.
Trauma and the Brain: Why We Feel Stuck
Imagine your brain is like a filing cabinet, storing memories in neat, organized folders. When something stressful happens, your brain processes the event and files it away properly. But when something traumatic happens—whether it’s a single overwhelming experience or a pattern of not having your emotional needs met growing up—your brain struggles to process it. The memory gets “stuck,” like a file that can’t be put away, and instead sits on your desk, constantly spilling out its contents.
This is where trauma becomes a problem. Those “stuck” memories can resurface in your thoughts, emotions, and even your body. You might find yourself reacting strongly to situations without understanding why or feeling emotionally drained, anxious, or disconnected. Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind; it’s stored in your nervous system, making it hard to move forward.
How EMDR Helps: The Science Behind It
EMDR is a structured therapy designed to help your brain reprocess these stuck memories so they can finally be filed away. At its core is something called the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) model. This fancy term basically means your brain has a natural ability to heal itself, just like your body does when you get a cut. However, when trauma overwhelms the brain, this healing process gets interrupted. EMDR helps restart it.
During EMDR, we use something called bilateral stimulation (like moving your eyes back and forth or tapping alternately on your hands) while you focus on specific memories, thoughts, or emotions. This process activates both sides of your brain, which helps unlock the stuck memory and process it in a healthier way. It actually mimics REM Over time, the memory loses its emotional charge—it’s no longer a raw wound but becomes a neutral part of your story.
Why EMDR is So Effective
Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR doesn’t require you to dive into every detail of your past or talk about it over and over. For many people, this is a relief—especially if you’ve been avoiding therapy because you don’t want to relive painful memories. Instead, EMDR works directly with your brain and body, helping you process trauma on a deeper level without needing to analyze every aspect.
For example, if you’ve been struggling with perfectionism, burnout, or feeling disconnected from your creative self, EMDR can help you uncover the root causes of these patterns. Maybe it’s an old belief that you’re “not good enough” or memories of being criticized for not meeting others’ expectations. By reprocessing these experiences, you can break free from the grip they have on your life.
Why Therapy Intensives Work So Well
The combination of EMDR with the intensive (extended session) format allows for a powerful, accelerated healing process. Instead of spreading out the work over many months or years, intensives allow the brain to process trauma over a concentrated period, leading to faster symptom relief and lasting change. Instead of feeling better after a few months, you could feel better after a few weeks or even days.
Trauma memories are complex, and bilateral processing often takes time to reach a natural completion. In a standard 45-minute session, it’s possible to stop and restart the process, but this can feel abrupt and leave you in a less grounded place. That’s why I believe it’s more ethical—and effective—to offer longer EMDR sessions or intensives.
When we allow the process to unfold at its own pace, your brain has the space it needs to reprocess and resolve the memory fully. This ensures you leave the session feeling more regulated and connected, rather than emotionally raw or in limbo. Longer sessions also create space for integrating additional tools, like IFS to address inner parts or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to support your body’s natural healing process.
Together, these approaches go beyond surface-level understanding. They help you create real, embodied change, so you can move forward feeling freer, more balanced, and more connected to yourself and others.
The 8 Stages of EMDR
Here’s a breakdown of the key stages of EMDR so you know exactly what to expect when you start the process. It’s worth noting that these stages may unfold over a longer period of time, depending on the severity of the trauma or the complexity of what we’re working on. For some individuals, it might take just a single extended session to fully process a specific event, while for others—especially those navigating Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) or relational trauma—it can be a more ongoing journey requiring multiple sessions to fully reprocess and heal.
History-Taking & Treatment Planning
In the first session, we’ll dive into your history and identify the key memories and issues you want to address. We’ll also talk about your goals and how EMDR can best support your healing.Preparation
This phase is all about building trust and ensuring you feel safe and supported. We’ll discuss coping strategies, relaxation techniques, and how to stay grounded during the processing stages.Assessment
We’ll focus on a specific memory and identify the negative beliefs tied to it (like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unlovable”). Then we’ll choose a positive belief you want to replace it with (such as “I am worthy” or “I am enough”).Desensitization
Here’s where the real EMDR magic happens. You’ll be asked to focus on the memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements, tapping, or sounds). This helps your brain process the memory in a way that neutralizes its emotional charge.Installation
After processing, we’ll install the new positive belief to replace the negative one. This helps reinforce your healing and integrate the change into your belief system.Body Scan
We’ll check in with your body to see if there’s any residual tension or discomfort related to the memory. If there is, we’ll use bilateral stimulation to release it.Closure
At the end of each session, we’ll make sure you feel safe and grounded. We’ll also discuss how you’re feeling and make a plan for integrating the work until your next session.Reevaluation
In subsequent sessions, we’ll check in to see how the memory has shifted and whether any new memories or emotions have surfaced. We’ll continue to process and reinforce healing until the work is complete.
Click here to learn more about EMDR.
Click here to learn more about therapy intensives.
Takeaways
Trauma isn’t your fault, but healing is possible. Patterns like perfectionism, burnout, and self-doubt often have roots in unprocessed trauma, and they can change with the right tools.
EMDR helps your brain heal naturally. By reprocessing stuck memories, EMDR reduces their emotional charge and frees you from their grip.
Longer sessions make EMDR more effective. Allowing more time for bilateral processing gives your brain the space it needs to complete the healing process, leading to deeper integration and lasting change.
Therapy isn’t just talking about your problems. Brain- and body-based therapies like EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy go beyond words, helping you feel real transformation instead of just understanding your struggles.
You can feel like yourself again. It’s possible to reconnect with your creative energy, build better relationships, and find balance in your life.
Looking to connect with an EMDR trauma psychotherapist in Washington DC or Virginia?
Take your first step towards healing from your past and experiencing deep, lasting change.
(Washington, D.C. and Virginia residents only)
About the author
Margot Lamson, LICSW, is a licensed psychotherapist offering in-person and virtual therapy in Washington, D.C. and Virginia. She is trained in multiple trauma-focused approaches, including EMDR, to support clients seeking meaningful and lasting healing. Margot also provides intensives, combining evidence-based and holistic techniques, to help clients achieve significant progress and feel better faster in a focused, supportive setting.
