What Is Shame and How Does It Show Up in Trauma?
Shame is an incredibly powerful and persistent emotion. It often feels like something deep inside us that we can’t shake off—like a heavy weight we carry around, even if no one else sees it. As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, every one of my clients experiences some degree of shame, and I’ve seen how it can distort how we see ourselves and our place in the world. What makes shame so insidious is that it doesn’t just show up as an isolated feeling—it often becomes a lens through which we interpret everything in our lives.
When trauma enters the picture, whether in the form of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) or C-PTSD (Complex PTSD), shame can often take center stage. Trauma doesn’t just impact the body or mind; it can shape your self-worth and sense of identity in profound ways. And unfortunately, it often locks people into a cycle of negative self-talk and self-blame that keeps them stuck.
Understanding how shame shows up in trauma and how to heal from it is a crucial part of the recovery process. If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying an invisible burden of shame, or if you’ve struggled with feeling "not enough" or unworthy, know that you’re not alone—and there is hope for healing.
What Is Shame?
At its core, shame is the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with us. It goes beyond just feeling guilty about something we’ve done—it’s an internalized belief that we are bad, unworthy, or defective at our core. This is why shame can be so painful. It’s not just about a mistake or an event; it becomes a judgment about who we are as a person.
Shame is often triggered by negative experiences or messages we’ve received, whether in childhood, within relationships, or in our broader social context. It’s closely tied to feelings of rejection, abandonment, or betrayal. It may have been the result of someone telling you that you weren’t good enough, or it could have been the internalized message from a traumatic event that made you feel responsible for something that wasn’t your fault.
What makes shame so challenging is that it often stays hidden.
We might push it down, try to avoid it, or numb it out with distractions. But even though shame is invisible, its effects are profound.
It influences how we view ourselves, how we relate to others, and even how we navigate the world.
How Shame Shows Up in Trauma: PTSD and C-PTSD
When trauma enters the picture, shame often becomes intertwined with the experience, whether you’re dealing with PTSD or C-PTSD.
Shame in PTSD
PTSD typically results from a single traumatic event, such as a car accident, assault, or natural disaster. In the aftermath of such events, people often feel overwhelmed by intense emotions like fear, helplessness, and vulnerability. While these emotions are entirely valid responses to trauma, they can easily be coupled with feelings of shame. For example, you might begin to blame yourself for not being able to prevent the event, even though it was out of your control.
In PTSD, shame might show up as self-blame or guilt for surviving a traumatic experience. You might tell yourself things like, "I should have done something differently," or "I’m weak for not handling it better." Even if you intellectually know that the event wasn’t your fault, your nervous system might still carry the weight of shame, especially if your trauma involved betrayal or abandonment.
Shame in C-PTSD
C-PTSD, on the other hand, often arises from prolonged or repeated trauma—usually in the context of childhood abuse, neglect, or ongoing relational trauma. This form of trauma can be even more insidious because it shapes not just how we feel in specific moments, but how we feel about ourselves over time. C-PTSD often leads to chronic feelings of shame because the abuse or neglect becomes intertwined with the belief that you are inherently unworthy or undeserving of love, care, or safety.
For people with C-PTSD, shame can be overwhelming and all-encompassing. It might feel like a fundamental part of who you are, affecting how you see yourself in relation to others. You may feel unlovable, defective, or that you’re destined to repeat the painful patterns of your past. This deep sense of shame can keep you stuck in cycles of self-doubt, isolation, and emotional numbness, making it difficult to break free.
How Therapy Intensives Using EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Help Heal Shame
Trauma and shame often go hand in hand, and while traditional therapy can help, brain- and body-based modalities such as EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy have proven to be especially effective for addressing the deeper layers of these emotional wounds. Therapy intensives, which condense several sessions into one focused, immersive experience, allow these modalities to work synergistically, making real, lasting progress possible in a short amount of time.
EMDR is particularly powerful when it comes to processing trauma-related shame. It works by engaging the brain’s natural healing process through bilateral stimulation—such as eye movements or tapping—which helps to reprocess painful memories and beliefs about yourself. In the case of shame, EMDR helps reframe self-judgments, allowing you to see the event or memory from a more neutral perspective. This often results in a significant reduction in shame’s grip, bringing relief and emotional freedom.
Click here to learn more about EMDR.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), on the other hand, is excellent for unpacking the different parts of yourself that have been impacted by trauma and shame. In IFS, we work with your inner system of "parts"—protective parts like your inner critic or the part of you that carries the shame—and engage with them in a compassionate way. By helping these parts feel heard, understood, and less burdened, IFS helps you release the internalized shame that’s been festering for so long.
Click here to learn more about IFS.
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy connects the body to the emotional experience, which is key when addressing trauma and shame. Shame often manifests physically—tightness in the chest, heaviness in the stomach, or the urge to shrink and hide. Sensorimotor Psychotherapy helps you identify these body sensations and work through them, releasing the tension stored in your body. By doing so, it helps to integrate the emotional and physical experiences, leading to a deeper and more complete healing.
Click here to learn more about Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
One of the most powerful aspects of therapy intensives is that these modalities can be used interchangeably within the same session. For example, in a single session, we might start with IFS to explore the parts of you carrying the shame, then use EMDR to reprocess a memory or belief that keeps that shame alive. We could finish with Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to release the physical sensations tied to the experience. Each modality complements the others, working together to address shame from different angles—emotional, cognitive, and physical. This integrated approach accelerates healing, helping you move through the layers of trauma faster and with more depth than traditional therapy alone.
Click here to learn more about therapy intensives.
Takeaways
Shame is a complex emotion that often accompanies trauma, especially in PTSD and C-PTSD, and can deeply affect your sense of self. It’s not just a feeling—it becomes a lens through which you view yourself and the world, making it hard to heal.
In this blog, we explored how shame shows up in trauma and how its impact can be pervasive, affecting everything from self-worth to relationships. Understanding shame’s role is the first step toward healing, and therapy intensives using EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy provide a powerful and efficient way to address it. These modalities work together seamlessly, helping you process memories, engage with parts of yourself holding onto shame, and release the physical sensations that perpetuate it. By integrating these approaches in a therapy intensive, you can experience profound shifts in a condensed timeframe, accelerating your healing journey.
Healing from shame doesn’t mean forgetting what happened—it means releasing the hold it has on your present and embracing the possibility of a future free from its weight.
Looking to connect with a therapist who specializes in brain and body-based therapies that can help you relieve your shame?
Reach out today to talk about how therapy with me can help you expedite your healing.
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About the author
Margot Lamson, LICSW, is a licensed psychotherapist offering in-person and virtual therapy in Washington, D.C. and Virginia. She is trained in multiple trauma-focused approaches, including EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to support clients seeking meaningful and lasting healing. Margot also provides intensives, combining evidence-based and holistic techniques, to help clients achieve significant progress and feel better faster in a focused, supportive setting.
